I am the woman you see at the gas station with a big smile on her face.
I’m the woman you see walking down the street dancing to her music at a steady pace.
You may wonder about me…
One day, you might even strike up a conversation with me.
I might even make you laugh.
You may even be intrigued.
The next time I see you, I will grin at you remembering the good conversation we had.
This time, we will exchange numbers and for a moment I won’t be sad.
You will probably think of me and I will surely think of you.
I will message you first shamelessly, maybe a little bit too desperately.
We will talk a lot or maybe only every once in awhile.
If we end up chatting quite a bit, you may begin to wonder about me more.
Eventually, you will invite me to over to hang out or go somewhere.
I will politely decline, saying I have something important to do.
You may begin to get curious.
Bye now, we have talked about so much and I may have told you of my traumas and such.
I may have even laughed about it and end up saying, “what can you do?”
You may begin to wonder how I can be so bright and happy.
You may get me to come hang out and I will start to care about you without any doubt.
I may even let you see the real me and you will suddenly realize that my smile is what I allow others to see.
You may be getting to wonder how I hit it so well and how it seems so easy for me to tell.
Now, I am anxious about what you will do next and I’ll stop replying to your text.
I’m waiting for you to show who you are, but I probably won’t let it get that far.
You may notice that I won’t answer when you call and eventually we won’t really talk at all.
I can’t honestly say if I do it for my safety or so that I won’t see you differently.
But if I let you go gracefully then you will always be a pleasant memory.
You may wonder what went wrong and think about me when you hear a certain song.
We may even chat every once in awhile and I hope that when you think of me, you smile.
But I must make a clean break because I have endured all the pain I can take.
I believe you will wonder how I am and if I ever gave a damn.
I hope you know that I liked you from the start and you have a little piece of my heart.
I simply got too close too quick and to me it felt like a trick.
I know I will always wonder what you are up to and if you got to make your dreams come true.
Your memory will never fade for my mind and it reminds me that people can be kind.
You may even think about me too and I hope you can still feel the love I have for you.
I don’t let anyone in all the way because I’m afraid but they might run away.
It’s easier for me to push you away than it is to be hurt and betrayed.
I hope you don’t wonder if I cared because I do. I am just scared.